Still waiting...

          We've received several emails and a couple of comments on the blog asking about the scan results today. Unfortunately, we don't have any results yet. This morning I went in for a PT scan, (also known as a "PET" scan), and despite being uncomfortable during the scan and for several hours after, it went well. The only problem is we now have to wait until Thursday morning for the results. I have an appointment with my surgeon that morning and he'll go over the results then. Our main concern right now is the pain that I'm feeling in my abdomen. It seems to be in more than one place and continues to worsen over time.

          Thank you all for your continued prayer and encouragement throughout this whole ordeal. By the way, I think I fixed the problem on the blog so comments can now be left without any problems.

Blessings,

Russ and Robyn

The coaster continues...

          The roller coaster has been used over and over again to describe the ups and downs of life. I think its because of the exhilaration and excitement you feel when you rise to a peak and the enormous pressure you feel on your body when you sink to the bottom of the valleys. Nothing can describe the lives of cancer patients and their families better. We all have those moments of great hope when we're told "your cancer has gone into remission" or "the scan is clear" or "you have completed your treatment". Robyn and I were told two of those three last week by my oncologist. My CT scan was clear so he took me off of the chemo treatments one month early. Those were the words we were waiting to hear and once we heard them we felt as though we were on the upswing of our personal roller coaster, hoping the ride would soon be over. 

          As cancer patients we've also felt the pressure as we head toward the lowest of the valleys when we're told "you have cancer" or "there's nothing more we can do". We certainly didn't expect to find ourselves heading toward one of those valleys this week...

          During the past several weeks I've been feeling some pain in my abdomen and the lower right side of my back. When we saw the oncologist on Tuesday and heard the good news about the CT scan the doctor said that since the scan came back clear the pain was probably being caused by something else. He asked me to go back to the surgeon to get his opinion and to see if there was any post surgical complications going on. We made the appointment for later this month but two days after the oncologist appointment my pain worsened. Yesterday morning I was sent to the ER for more tests including another CT scan. This time the blood tests and scan both showed indications that the cancer has come back. My oncologist and surgeon both read the results and they concur that there seems to be some swelling in several areas of my abdomen and my blood test results were concerning to them as well. I left the ER yesterday evening with some pain medication and got a fair amount of sleep over night. However the pain continues and seems to be worsening.

          The next step is to go in on Tuesday morning next week to have a PET scan done which should show cancer cells or nothing at all. We're praying for the latter... The most difficult part of our discussion with the oncologist about this was that he, once again, reminded me of how nasty my cancer is and how it can come back quickly and aggressively. When it does, there usually isn't anything that can be done to combat it. No surgeries, no more radiation, and chemo may slow it but won't stop it. 

          So, as you can see, we are still on that roller coaster and we're heading for another valley. But, here's the really good news. No matter what the outcome of this story, the God of compassion, the God of comfort, the God who surpasses all understanding and who has the most perfect plan ever, is riding the roller coaster with us and will be first in line to hold us and comfort us when we get off.

          Will you all join us in prayer this weekend and into next week? It is difficult to wait for the test and then wait again for the results so, we'll need plenty of patience over the next few days. We would also like you to pray for God's will to be done in our situation. Obviously, we would love to find another cause of the pain and to be able treat it. But, if it's cancer, our prayer will be that He be glorified through our response to the news and through our lives as we continue to battle on. 

God is good, all the time!

Russ and Robyn

Trusting in Him

          We've previously spoken a little bit about cautious optimism and this week has brought a little of that back again. I visited the Oncologist last week and we discussed the possibility of taking me off of chemo. This was his idea and it surprised me when only just a couple of weeks before he said I'd have to continue with it through the end of March. Now, he thinks I may be ready to stop chemo but he wants to do another CT scan just to be sure. The scan is the only way to determine whether or not there are any further tumors or growths. 

          This past Thursday I went in and had the CT scan done and will find out the results on Tuesday, March 3rd. As you can imagine, we're anxiously waiting to hear those results. If everything is clear, we expect the doctor to take me off chemo and I'll be officially done with treatment! We'll definitely be in prayer about this and hope you will all be praying for us as well.

          It's interesting to stop and review how God uses these events in our lives to change us and to influence those around us. In our case, we are reminded quite often by many of you how God has spoken to you through my cancer. You can't imagine, how fulfilled that makes us and how happy we are that God is being glorified through an otherwise nasty situation. Just in the past couple of weeks we've heard from a couple of different people who have commented on how "calm" we seem to be or "at peace" we are with our situation. Although we certainly appreciate these comments and attribute any calmness to the glory of God, we want you all to know that we are as human as any one and we certainly have our moments of fear, anxiousness, and doubt. I think what you may be seeing is how God has helped us to understand how to trust Him and the contentment He can bring to our lives.

          In Philippians 4:11 (esv), Paul talks about God's provision and writes "...for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content". Now, I understand this verse very clearly and I'm sure you do as well. We understand that we are to be content in every situation, but most of us, including me, struggle with that very thing. In fact, I've come to be content in the fact that I'm human and I'm going to have trouble with being content! But, that doesn't let me off the hook. Knowing that I'm "to be" content in every situation puts the responsibility on me to seek contentment but, it doesn't mean that I "will be" content every time I try. After all, I'm human and I have to deal with fear, anxiousness, doubt, and a whole lot of other weaknesses. In the same paragraph, Paul goes on to talk about how he had "learned the secret" of facing difficult situations. This verse speaks very clearly to me also but this is where I draw a distinction between myself and Paul. While Paul had the confidence in knowing that he "learned the secret", I struggle with knowing and understanding that confidence.

          Here's the really great news that clears it all up for me. While I struggle with absolute contentment, I have learned absolute trust in our God. I trust that God is perfect and trust that His will for this world, and every life within it, is perfect. That means that His will for my life is perfect. That trust helps me with contentment and helps me to understand how to face my fears.

          Let's face it, trust is a very difficult thing for many of us to allow into our lives. With all the deceit, abandonment, infidelity, theft, etc, that goes on in the world today, trust is extremely risky. But, in my experience, allowing myself to trust God with my life really wasn't much of a risk at all and it has paid off with huge dividends.

Blessings,

Russ and Robyn

Unexpected therapy this weekend...

          Last week I mentioned that I really wanted to get caught up on a few projects that I've put off since I learned of my illness. One of those projects was to tear up the carpet in the living room and dining room and lay tile down. On Saturday morning I got up and convinced myself to tear up the carpet and see how I was feeling. After only an hour I had the carpet, padding, tack strips and glue all cleaned up and in the trash. Since that went smooth, I convinced myself to layout the tile and mix up a little thinset to lay the first few tiles. I continued working on it slowly and methodically, and by the end of the day I had laid tile in half of the room. Physically, I began to ache in muscles I haven't used in 9 months. My legs and lower back ached and my knees were so sore I could hardly walk...

          While "suffering" physically, I realized that, for me, I had just completed some of the best therapy money could buy. I thrive on using my mind and hands to construct things and I'm used to having some sort of project going on most of the time. I just didn't know how much I've missed losing myself in a project and thinking about nothing else. I enjoyed it so much that I finished laying the tile on Sunday afternoon and on Monday I grouted the tile. By the time I finished Monday night it was all I could do to get myself up off the floor and walk. I was in pain and I loved it!

          I did have a little more motivation to complete this tile job than I let on... You see, last weekend was an "off" weekend from chemo so I was feeling pretty good. But, in the back of my mind, I knew that I will be having chemo this Thursday and will probably not be feeling very well by Saturday. I wanted to get the job done so I didn't have it sitting unfinished for the next few weeks.

          If you think about it and have a few minutes over the weekend I could sure use your prayers for getting through this round of chemo. I'm a little more nervous this time since I had such a bad reaction last time. I'm determined to go through it though and get it done because I'll be that much closer to the end, which I hope will be around the end of March.

          Thanks again for all your encouraging words and prayers. You can't believe what a difference it makes to us to know that you are all out there reading this blog, praying for us and writing comments or sending your words of encouragement through emails and cards. If we can pray for you for anything that may be going on in your life please feel free to write a comment or drop us an email. We count it a privilege to join you in prayer and encouragement.

Because His love and grace is sufficient,

Russ and Robyn 

All is well!

          Since the last time I wrote I've had a couple of ups and downs with regard to my treatment. On Friday, February 6th, the day after my last chemo treatment, Cody and I were able to attend the FBR golf tournament in Scottsdale and had a great time spending the day together watching our favorite sport. Later that night I came down with a fever which lasted until late Sunday evening. The fever grew to a high of over 103 degrees and was caused by the chemo drug killing off my white and red blood cells. I was pretty anemic for the next several days but I was able to make it through each day at work. On Wednesday last week I went in for a blood test and my blood counts were too low for chemo treatment on Thursday. In place of the chemo treatment, my doctor sent me in to the hospital to receive a blood infusion. After 5 hours and two units of blood, I was able to go home and felt much better over the weekend. Since then I've been feeling like my old self again. I'm now preparing myself mentally for my next appointment, which is on Thursday of next week, when I'll see the doctor again and receive my next chemo treatment. 

          With all things considered though, I really have been doing great. My chemo treatment is relatively light compared to many people who suffer through considerably harsher medications and chemo drugs. I feel very blessed to have the course of treatment that I have and truly admire the strength of those I see week after week going through 5 and 6 hours of treatment at a time. Those are the people we all need to be praying for. Praying specifically for strength, endurance and comfort from God.

          Over the next week I expect to continue to feel good and will be trying to get a lot of things done around the house and at work. I have a few small projects at home that I've been trying to keep up on and work is getting busier every day. I'm supervising the construction of our new church offices and continuing to work with the architects and contractors on the design of our new buildings at the church. For those of you who know me, you know that I really enjoy keeping busy and being involved in the construction process. I'm not physically able to do the work right now but I'm really enjoying the planning and design work.

          If you happen to think about it, when you have a minute, your prayers are always appreciated. Things to pray for would be continued contentment with my course of treatment and patience to endure through to the end of March. As well as praying for those cancer patients who are suffering through their treatment and who may not know the God of comfort.

Blessings to you all!

Russ and Robyn

What's your prognosis?

I probably don't need to remind you that 8 months ago my doctors were not very optomistic that I would live through the impending surgery let alone through the end of the year. Now here it is January 28th and the eve of Cody's 18th birthday! So, when I say it's an incredible blessing to be here to see my son reach the age of adulthood you can really believe it. And that's not all... This month I also got to be here for a milestone birthday for Ashley and to see Reaghan have her first birthday! It's been a great month!
Hearing the prognosis from the doctors was devistating to say the least but the journey since has been life altering and incredibly fulfilling at the same time. Life altering because we have learned to take things slower and take time to enjoy the simpler things of life. Fulfilling because we have drawn closer to God and become more dependent upon Him to meet our needs and to help us find contentment in His plan for our lives.
Enjoying life and finding contentment seem to be in short supply around the world today considering our economic times and social environment. On the other hand, those who are seeking God and striving to become more dependent upon Him are growing by leaps and bounds. Statistics tell us that when things get difficult and the stress of life becomes unbearable people seek God to help them through. This is good news because it's okay to seek God when things get out of our control. God is standing by waiting to hear from any one who is going through a difficult time no matter what kind of pain they are experiencing.
If you are someone in the throws of devistation or caught in a whirlwind of pain, I urge you to seek God and allow Him to carry your burdens. He is ready and waiting for you to rely on Him.

Blessings to you all,
Russ and Robyn

Quick Update

Can you believe it's been more than a month since my last update? My apologies to all of you who watch for updates regularly. I have no excuse other than I've really been doing well which has caused me to be more busy with life than usual. In any case, here I am and I'd like to give you a quick update this evening and then catch up a little more in a few days.

The number one question we've been getting lately has been about Ignas. We were all truly heartbroken when we learned that Ignas had passed away on Christmas day after being removed from the ventilator. There are still very few details about how he was actually attacked but my understanding is that he was targeted by his cousin who intended to kill Ignas from the beginning. Our family joined many people in PNG, including his family and many missionaries who were touched by Ignas' life, in feeling the loss of such a great man. We will continue to be in prayer for Ignas' wife, Julie, and their children and trust God for His comfort and provision in their lives. I've included a photo of Ignas and me which was taken on our last day in Papua New Guinea. Ignas showed up at the airport to say goodbye to us.

There's not much left to say after that but, since I promised Robyn I'd give you an update on my health, I better give you the latest...  In my last update I told you about a three day stay in the hospital due to low blood counts. The blood infusions that I received during that stay helped quite a bit and I had one more infusion just a couple of days before Christmas. Because of the holidays I was able to get a three week reprieve from chemo so by the second week in January I was feeling very good! I've since started back on the chemo schedule and I'm still doing well! As I've said to many of you who see me often, I can't complain much at all about my chemo treatments and how they make me feel compared to those who really have tough chemo drugs! The only real change with regard to my health is that my doctor has extended my chemo through the end of March to give me a full six month course of treatment. This is really no surprise but rather just a disappointment.

So, with that, we continue to give God the glory for the grace and mercy He so freely gives. Please join us in praising Him and praying for so many who's lives have been impacted by the unexpected. If you think about it, the unexpected really shouldn't be so "unexpected" any more since there's so much of it going around... We can however, continue to pray that we learn how to give these situations to God and allow Him to be glorified through the process.

Blessings,

Russ and Robyn