Trusting in Him

          We've previously spoken a little bit about cautious optimism and this week has brought a little of that back again. I visited the Oncologist last week and we discussed the possibility of taking me off of chemo. This was his idea and it surprised me when only just a couple of weeks before he said I'd have to continue with it through the end of March. Now, he thinks I may be ready to stop chemo but he wants to do another CT scan just to be sure. The scan is the only way to determine whether or not there are any further tumors or growths. 

          This past Thursday I went in and had the CT scan done and will find out the results on Tuesday, March 3rd. As you can imagine, we're anxiously waiting to hear those results. If everything is clear, we expect the doctor to take me off chemo and I'll be officially done with treatment! We'll definitely be in prayer about this and hope you will all be praying for us as well.

          It's interesting to stop and review how God uses these events in our lives to change us and to influence those around us. In our case, we are reminded quite often by many of you how God has spoken to you through my cancer. You can't imagine, how fulfilled that makes us and how happy we are that God is being glorified through an otherwise nasty situation. Just in the past couple of weeks we've heard from a couple of different people who have commented on how "calm" we seem to be or "at peace" we are with our situation. Although we certainly appreciate these comments and attribute any calmness to the glory of God, we want you all to know that we are as human as any one and we certainly have our moments of fear, anxiousness, and doubt. I think what you may be seeing is how God has helped us to understand how to trust Him and the contentment He can bring to our lives.

          In Philippians 4:11 (esv), Paul talks about God's provision and writes "...for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content". Now, I understand this verse very clearly and I'm sure you do as well. We understand that we are to be content in every situation, but most of us, including me, struggle with that very thing. In fact, I've come to be content in the fact that I'm human and I'm going to have trouble with being content! But, that doesn't let me off the hook. Knowing that I'm "to be" content in every situation puts the responsibility on me to seek contentment but, it doesn't mean that I "will be" content every time I try. After all, I'm human and I have to deal with fear, anxiousness, doubt, and a whole lot of other weaknesses. In the same paragraph, Paul goes on to talk about how he had "learned the secret" of facing difficult situations. This verse speaks very clearly to me also but this is where I draw a distinction between myself and Paul. While Paul had the confidence in knowing that he "learned the secret", I struggle with knowing and understanding that confidence.

          Here's the really great news that clears it all up for me. While I struggle with absolute contentment, I have learned absolute trust in our God. I trust that God is perfect and trust that His will for this world, and every life within it, is perfect. That means that His will for my life is perfect. That trust helps me with contentment and helps me to understand how to face my fears.

          Let's face it, trust is a very difficult thing for many of us to allow into our lives. With all the deceit, abandonment, infidelity, theft, etc, that goes on in the world today, trust is extremely risky. But, in my experience, allowing myself to trust God with my life really wasn't much of a risk at all and it has paid off with huge dividends.

Blessings,

Russ and Robyn